


The Birds and the Bees

by redhoodwritesjt



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Bat Brothers, Crack, Damian Wayne Has a Crush, Damian Wayne gets the sex talk, Damian Wayne is Bad at Feelings, Damian Wayne is embarrassed, Damian Wayne is too, Erection, Jason Todd is a good brother, M/M, Mentioned Blow Jobs, Protective Jason Todd, Sex Talk, Swearing, Tim Drake cracks me up, Tim Drake is a smartass, bird and the bees, blushing Damian Wayne, but Jon Kent is so fucking adorable, but he’ll kill you if you tell him that, mentioned masturbation, mentioned sex, this is out of context
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-05-30
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:34:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24422863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redhoodwritesjt/pseuds/redhoodwritesjt
Summary: A short fic to go along withthisincorrect quote.Jason tries to get Tim to tell Damian about the birds and the bees.
Relationships: Jonathan Samuel Kent/Damian Wayne
Comments: 8
Kudos: 158
Collections: Damian Wayne, the batman family





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you think! This was a lot of fun to write and I really liked how it turned out! Feel free to give me constructive criticism and prompts!

Jason Todd had seen a lot of things in his life, but he never thought he would see his thirteen year old little assassin brother blushing. He couldn’t help the small smirk that played on his lips as he watched Damian from across the room. The boy was oblivious that he was watching, too caught up dealing with Jon. Jason quickly moved his eyes back to the book that he was “reading” as Tim walked into the room, sitting on the couch next to him. He purposely ignored him, eyes scanning his book as if he was reading it. His eyes slowly made their way back up to watch Damian, the smirk growing on his face as he watched the boy continually grow “uncomfortable”. 

Damian felt the heat spreading across his face as Jon laid down, getting uncomfortably close to him. That was him, Jon didn’t really know what personal space meant, but that wasn’t the reason for the blush. It had been almost a week, and Damian had been trying to understand his feelings. He’d started to see Jon as more than a friend, but there was absolutely no way he was telling his best friend that. He barely let the boy hug him. So now, as Jon snuggled against him while they watched a movie, he felt an unfamiliar feeling starting to form in his stomach. He felt heat swirling inside of him and he felt his face burned as he glanced down and noticed that his member was standing up. He squirmed, biting his lip and trying not to panic. He didn’t know much about this. All he knew was what the league had told him and that hadn’t been much. 

Jason continued to watch the two, his smirk growing and he had to duck his head down to hide his snort. He peeked up again, catching the bulge on his brother’s crotch and how red and panicked his brother looked. This was priceless. He leaned over, nudging Tim, who had his eyes glued to his laptop. “Replacement...” he whispered, punching him in the shoulder a little harder when Tim refused to look at him. “Would you fucking listen to me? Look at the little brat.” 

Tim finally glanced up, eyes moving from glaring angrily at Jason to Damian. A small smirk lit up his face and he glanced back at Jason. 

“You should tell Demon Brat about the birds and the bees.” Jason whispered mischievously, the smirk still playing on his lips. 

“What?” Tim asked, aghast. “No way.” He muttered, a blush spreading across his face. He glanced up for a moment as he heard Damian snap something at Jon, pushing him away and running off to his room. 

Tim turned a glare on Jason. “Fine.” He huffed. “I’ll go tell him. You...” he trailed off, looking at a confused and slightly anxiously looking Jon. “Either be nice for once and help him or get Dick to come in and help.” He grumbled, before getting up and heading to Damian’s room as he snapped his laptop shut.

Tim scowled as he stood in front of his brother’s door, hesitating as he listened to his brother inside. It seemed awfully quiet. He huffed. He shouldn’t have to do this. It wasn’t his job. He rolled his eyes, pushing the door open to find Damian just standing there like a deer caught in the headlights. 

“Drake, what on earth are you doing in my room?” Damian snapped, glaring daggers at his brother as he moved a hand to try and cover his crotch. 

Tim’s eyes darted down to his brother’s crotch before quickly moving back up to his face, his blush matching his brother’s now. “Jason wanted me to tell you about the birds and the bees.” He started off uncomfortable, shifting on his feet. He rubbed the back of his neck.

“Huh? What about them?” Damian asked in confusion, staring at his brother, red faced.

“They um... they’re disappearing at an alarming rate.” Tim mumbled, quickly turning away to leave. “Just um, maybe talk to B about whatever you need to.” He added awkwardly, hurrying out of the room with a blush. 

Damian just stared after Tim, resigning himself to a very embarrassing talk with his father. He half considered just completely ignoring it, but then... he didn’t really know what to do about his problem and he felt bad for upsetting Jon over it.


	2. The Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A part 2 going along with [this](https://incorrectherofam.tumblr.com/post/619135732341194753/jason-whispering-to-tim-you-should-tell-damian) incorrect quote.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to [@dickiesgrayson](https://dickiesgrayson.tumblr.com/) for editing and giving me the idea for a part 2. You should definitely check out their blog, it’s awesome and hilarious!

Damian stayed up in his room a while after, sitting uncomfortably in his bed. At some point, when he still couldn’t get the stupid erection to go down, he grabbed his phone. He spent some time staring at it, before he finally worked up the courage to go into Google and search, “How to make my penis stop standing up.” He stared at that for a moment, a blush spreading across his cheeks as he hit search. He slowly read the first links, clicking on the second. He started to scan the article, before letting out a small, embarrassed squeak and closed the tab when he heard someone’s footsteps walk past his room. 

Heart beating, Damian laid down on his bed, before letting out a soft sigh and standing up. He slowly shuffled to his door, peaking out. He slowly made his way to the living room, noting a little sadly that Jon had left. His eyes darted to Tim who’d made his way back onto the couch. “Drake?” He asked, his voice coming out slightly embarrassed. “Where’s father?” He added, a scowl settling over his face and an edge mixed in with his words. 

Tim didn’t glance up, his eyes staying on the laptop. “He went out, patrolling or something.” He mumbled. 

Jason, who’d actually been reading this time, looked up. His eyes darted from Damian to Tim. At first, his eyebrows knotted together in confusion before he turned on Tim. “What the hell did you tell him?” He demanded. 

“Don’t yell at me, I just told him what you told me to.” Tim muttered, still not looking up. Jason was not talking him into doing that again. 

Jason turned his gaze on Damian. “What did Replacement tell you, brat?” He asked.

Damian turned his glare from one brother to the other. “Drake informed me, much needlessly, that the birds and bees are disappearing at an alarming rate.” He stated slowly, eyes narrowing as Jason started laughing. “What is so comical, Todd?” He demanded fiercely. 

Jason wiped a few tears from his eyes, looking at Tim. “Replacement was supposed to tell you about that.” He told Damian, pointing to his brother’s erection. He rolled his eyes, standing up. “Come on, brat.” He grumbled, giving Tim a glare. “You’re going to wish you’d told him.” 

Damian followed Jason to his room, shoving both hands into his pockets and shifting from foot to foot. He swallowed as he looked up at Jason.

“Well sit down, I thought the league taught you not to fidget.” He teased, easily plopping down on his brother’s bed. 

Damian slowly followed, huffing slightly as he took a seat next to Jason. 

Jason grinned at Damian. Oh, this was going to be fun. “So...” he started off, smirking, “How does your dick feel?” He asked bluntly.

Damian felt heat warming his cheeks and he quickly changed positions, trying to hide his erection. “Undignified.” He mumbled. 

Jason scoffed. “Whatever, brat.” He laughed, turning towards him. “Has B told you anything?” He asked.

Damian slowly shook his head. “No.” 

“Hmmph... course he didn’t.” Jason mumbled, before catching Damian’s eye. “Do you know what caused that?” He asked, giving the boy a stare. He already knew, he just wanted to hear him say it.

Damian quickly looked away. “Jon.” He mumbled, swallowing.

“Uh huh, that’s what I thought. To start with, you’re gay... or bi.” Jason added as an afterthought. 

Damian glared at Jason with an indignant growl. “I already knew that, Todd.”

“And you didn’t think of telling me?” Jason asked cheekily, rolling his eyes once more.

Damian’s scowl grew and he grumbled, “I was going to.”

Jason snorted. “Right. In what, five years?” He sighed. “Quit bickering with me. You need to focus, this is very serious.” He deadpanned, almost mimicking Bruce. 

Damian glowered at Jason. “Would you stop that, you imbecile? At least try and act mature.” 

Jason kept a straight face. “Now Dami, that’s not nice... you need to listen,” he said, popping a smile on his face and yes, that was definitely mimicking Dick.

“Quit it, Todd,” Damian snapped, angrily shoving him lightly. 

Jason gave another sigh. “Fine. You’re no fun. You paying attention? You better fucking be paying attention?” 

Damian huffed impatiently once more. “I’m listening, Todd.” 

“Right. So whenever you grow aroused, that’s like whe —“

“I know what it means to be fucking aroused.” Damian interjected. 

“Language.” Jason shot back, raising his eyebrow. “Anyway, so you grow aroused and your dick, not like Dick, but your—“

“Penis, just say penis.” Damian snapped in annoyance.

“Shut up and let me talk, brat. Continuing, your dick will stand up or grow hard and if you touch it feels really good and that’s called masturbating... what the fuck are you doing?” Jason asked, expression transitioning to slightly horrified.

Damian looked up, a blush quickly spreading across his cheeks as he’d been trying to experimentally touch himself. He hadn’t expected Jason to be looking at him. He quickly withdrew his hand and muttered, “Nothing.”

“Let me clarify, only do that when you’re alone.” Jason told him, a bit of awkwardness filling his voice. “Unless you’re like really close boyfriends or something...” he added, before backtracking quickly, “But you shouldn’t do that for a while.” 

Damian shifted. “So how do I get rid of this then?” He questioned hesitantly, chewing his lip and looking away in embarrassment.

“I was getting there. One, masturbation. Two, think of something to distract you, but don’t think of Jon. Think of something that won’t arouse you. That’s what you’re going to have to do at school or whenever you can’t masturbate.” Jason explained.

Damian breathed out softly, before asking abruptly, “What’s a blow job?” 

Jason choked slightly, staring at him. “None of your concern. B would kill me if I told you.”

Damian crossed his arms over his chest. “I thought you were supposed to give me the talk?” He asked. “Don’t I need to know... I mean you haven’t even started on...” he paused, heat crawling further up his face. “Sex.” He finished awkwardly.

Jason sighed heavily. “Fine. A blow job is when you um, well you cum— that’s what comes out of you when you masturbate— and uh, someone has your dick in their mouth.” He said awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck and watching as Damian made a face, shifted uncomfortably, and wouldn’t meet his eyes. 

“Right. And sex?” Damian asked gruffly, trying not to sound as embarrassed as he felt. 

“Sort of the same, but you um, you just insert yourself into whoever. If it’s a girl, they have a vagina, boy their anus and you just push yourself slowly into—“ 

“Stop.” Damian’s face was red and had his fists clenched. 

Jason frowned. “You okay, Dami?” He asked softly, slightly concerned even though he wasn’t planning on showing it.

Damian looked away, shuddering slightly and swallowing. He scrunched his face up, finally looking at Jason. “That’s disgusting.” He bit out. 

Jason rolled his eyes. “Say what you want, brat. Anyway, that’s that, now I’ll just leave you be so you can... practice.” He said, eyes pointedly focusing on his brother’s crotch. 

Damian blushed, hesitating as Jason started to walk out. “Wait!” He called frantically. 

Jason turned around, eyebrow raised. “Yes?”

Damian’s face burned and he mumbled awkwardly, “So I just… I just touch it and it’ll work?” He asked. 

Jason nodded. “Yup, and stroke it or whatever feels good.” He said. 

“Okay.” Damian mumbled unsurely. 

“Yeah...” Jason paused. “If you uh, need anything just call me. Okay?” He asked, not used to seeing his brother out of his comfort zone like this.

Damian nodded, letting out a soft sigh of relief as Jason closed the door.

**Author's Note:**

> Make sure you read chapter 2, it’s ten times better in my opinion.


End file.
